Therapeutic Approach
My practice is rooted in a relational psychodynamic approach to therapy. Psychodynamic, sometimes referred to as “depth psychology”, focuses less on changing behaviors and more on what lies behind our behaviors, specifically our unconscious motivations. Behind so much of how we think, what we long for, and how we relate to ourselves and others lies unacknowledged shame, trauma, and the strategies we developed, sometimes very early on, to cope with and hide these realities from ourselves. These make up our implicit memory -- the muscle memory of our emotional worlds -- which cannot easily be recalled or brought into conscious awareness, but determines our lives nonetheless. Psychodynamic therapy aims to cultivate awareness of what lies underneath in disconnected, dissociated ways and provides a space to move through the pain, accept, and integrate the past so that it no longer repeats itself in our lives.
The relational piece refers to the understanding that the realm in which this process takes place is the realm of relationship, specifically the relationship between therapist and client. The relational approach holds insight into dreams and memories as important, but understands that what happened then happens now, meaning that we bring our past into the present, and we bring our past relationships with us into present ones. As such, the best access to our depths is the therapeutic relationship itself. This means that much of therapy is paying attention to the dynamics of the relationship between you and I, what comes up and what is brought forth. It means that we do our best to be as honest as possible with each other in a radically non-judgmental, confidential, open-minded, curious, trust-filled space without agenda. Our depths are forged by relationships, and only relationship can reach them.
I also pay deep attention to how you tell your story, the patterns of attachment in the primary relationships of your life, the relationship between your mind and your body, and, particularly, to the places where fear and shame have lodged themselves in your heart.
I hope that in our work we can face and hold the pain that you carry together and allow it to transform into opportunities for deep growth, renewed meaning, and unexpected joy.
